The 5th Habit of Happy Kids: Listen Before You Talk

During the months of February and March, we’ll focus on the 5th Habit of Happy Kids:  Listen Before You Talk.  There are so many elements that contribute to this practice.  On the listening side, we need to focus our attention on the person who is speaking.  This means tuning out distractions and other things of interest.  It can be especially tough when we don’t like what the person is saying!  We also need to quiet down our own naturally-arising thoughts in order to truly hear what the other person is saying (rather than what we imagine s/he is saying).  Again, the challenge is greater when the other’s point of view differs from ours.  And it is so hard not to interrupt.  We must cultivate patience to listen until we’ve heard everything the speaker wants to say.  

On the talking side, we can do several things to promote others’ understanding.  We need to look people in the eyes when we speak (which as we know is also part of building empathy), unless there is a sensitivity that makes that very uncomfortable for one of the communication partners.  We also need to voice our ideas confidently, knowing we each are entitled to our unique perspective.  Watching the reactions of the people we’re talking with, being considerate of their emotions and needing another turn to talk, is another important skill to develop.

When I write about “The Habits”, it always makes me think about ways I can improve, too.   This month, I’m going to try and interrupt less often.  If I feel the need to interrupt, I’ll look right at the speaker’s face and remind myself his/her message is the most important thing in this moment.

Let’s encourage our students to be good listeners and confident speakers at home and at school.  We know communication skills are a key to fulfillment in life, and it is never too soon to start!